Is ‘manning up’ really as easy as it sounds? This guy’s thread on self esteem and the pressures of being a certain way is hitting close to home for many men out there:
Thread đ§ľ:
I wish more people talked about self-esteem for men.
When you think of the ideal man (maybe not yours perhaps, but the packaged and pushed ideal) you get the alpha-male. pic.twitter.com/yfrJguzI9p
— kon hai ye (@shayadzohair) May 8, 2020
His thread starts off with the baseline requirements for every desirable man:
You need to be above 5â10â to be meet the baseline requirement.
Itâs abs or a no-go.
Deep voice that makes you quiver.
A jawline that could cut glass and if it doesnât, whatâs the point?
The list goes on.— kon hai ye (@shayadzohair) May 8, 2020
And goes to body shaming and expecting grow thicker skin:
These ideals get pushed down our throats as we grow up and while thereâs a lot you can control from this, thereâs a lot that you canât. What makes it worse is that thereâs consistent body shaming between men with the notion that they have âthickerâ skin
— kon hai ye (@shayadzohair) May 8, 2020
To not being man enough:
so it doesnât bother them as much. Apparently, a man shouldnât feel the need to look a certain way but also should look a certain way. Because if he doesnât, heâs just not it. But he also canât be vain, because wanting to look good can either be douchey or effeminate.
— kon hai ye (@shayadzohair) May 8, 2020
He also empathizes with women and how they have it way worse:
I will never pretend as if the standards of beauty for women arenât a million times worse and stricter. If you know me, you know how vocal I am about feminism and everything that comes with it. And bearing that in mind, any feminist will tell you that both these standards of
— kon hai ye (@shayadzohair) May 8, 2020
He talks about these beauty standards being born out of toxic masculinity:
beauty (for men and women) are born out of toxic masculinity and the patriarchy. And my issue lies with that and the men and women who uphold it.
— kon hai ye (@shayadzohair) May 8, 2020
He concludes his thread on how he has accepted himself for what it is:
The past year for me has been a lot about understanding and accepting myself. I recently decided that Iâm good looking and itâs oddly been uphill for me since. I feel very secure in my appearance, but I didnât always. And I know a lot of men who donât.
— kon hai ye (@shayadzohair) May 8, 2020
And encourages all the kings to be their very best!
So this oneâs for anyone who has insecurities that eat up their minds and keeps them from being their most happy and fulfilled self: youâre a king. đ
— kon hai ye (@shayadzohair) May 8, 2020
The thread has caused quite the stir on Twitter, with many men agreeing with him:
I totally agree. Male self esteem matters more, they are the back bone of society and a strong support system for women. If they break down, it's a disaster. Loved the thread. đťâď¸
— F. (@dreaminofFries) May 9, 2020
People were thanking him for speaking up:
Thank you. https://t.co/2Y9GDQvHks
— mufasaa (@Must4faaa) May 9, 2020
Absolutely!
I love this thread.Body positivity IS a concept that should be cultivated in everyone's mind regardless of their gender, instead of fitting into set stereotypes of beauty,I love that more people are coming out with threads about self love and acceptance!!
More power to you, king.— noorea (@lillithirl) May 9, 2020
Can’t believe it’s 2020 and gender roles still exist!
Okay everyone needs to hear this ! Stop putting pressure on any gender to look, feel and talk in a specific way ! JUST STOP #equality https://t.co/LdtkHA4fzR
— Mavra Murad (@MuradMavra) May 9, 2020
People were proud of him for sharing his journey:
tysm for sharing this message on here too, king. you deserve all the good that comes your way & more! v v v proud of you, what you do, & what you represent. love your 10/10 photo, but i love your 11/10 self more! always told you that ur a sexy beast & i'm glad you believe it now!
— 'stan (@SageShahSuri) May 8, 2020
This notion needs to stop!
Such an important thing thread â¤ď¸â¤ď¸
The obsession with the Alpha Male ideal also forces some men to develop more aggressive personality traits, in order to be more "masculine".
It's important to understand. https://t.co/2QoOCsnIC9
— Key_Bored_ (@Key_Bored_) May 9, 2020
Yaaas, you the kings!
So this oneâs for anyone who has insecurities that eat up their minds and keeps them from being their most happy and fulfilled self: youâre a king. đ (2) https://t.co/aBK3lttsP9
— Qais (@jack_ouf_all) May 9, 2020
It was the best thing some had read all day:
This is the best thread I've read today. â¤ď¸đ https://t.co/O1r61aVlS1
— Maheenđ (@MaheenAli51) May 9, 2020
Sad, but true!
Each gender has its suffering in a world full of fake idealism & perfection https://t.co/mksk6h4dAN
— Machop Stan Account (@TebhaSameer) May 8, 2020
And while many people agreed with him, others just went on to prove the point he was trying to make:
Awww no one cares about men like you, maybe to the extent of few nice sentences on twitter nothing more than that. Don't expect anything better either and MAN UP
— Yasir (@haayemerijan) May 9, 2020
Dude just 'man up'. https://t.co/hpkWXBW1Xz
— Muhammad Ali (@muhammadali0944) May 9, 2020
Some strongly disagreed:
A man is what he does. Man is about sheer commitment.
There's no beauty contest and there's practically nothing like stupid jawline or abs stuff that you mentioned. No great men ever worked on that.— Zaeem (@AreyRehneDo) May 9, 2020
What do you think about the pressures on men being a certain way? Let us know in the comments below!